Drunk Bumps

Slang.
Drunk bumps 
1. (n) The tiny orange-and-red speed bumps that line the edges of highways, intended to awaken drowsy drunks before they drive off the road by making for a violent and uncomfortable ride should one drive over them. 

Wednesday, UK

I found my rental car, but I couldn't get in. I kept pressing one button on the key, then the other. I knew something was wrong because I could hear the car unlocking and locking, but the driver's door wouldn't open. Finally, I realized I was trying to open the passenger door.

Thank God the pedals were in the right order, at least. There were three of them, which you probably realize means I was driving stick.

I know how to drive stick, but I've never had to shift gears left handed. You might not realize how habitual it becomes, but the first few times I had to shift while already in motion I banged my right hand on the car door.

For a while it slowed me down enough that one driver honked and pulled around me at a freshly green light. But that only happened once in over two hours. I yelled at him, "With all due respect, thanks buddy!" That's a mix of English and American insults that I don't suppose anybody could understand. But the window was rolled up, anyway, and he was long gone.

Once I was on the highway the driving was much easier, with one great exception. I'm used to being situated on the left side of the lane, because normally the driver's seat is on the left side of the car. Perhaps drivers have all sorts of ways of staying in the middle of their lanes; my way is to align the left side of my body just a couple of feet from the left line of my lane.

Obviously, that would be a disaster in this crazy land. You can guess the result--thank Jersey for drunk bumps! I tried to stay in the left lane on the highway so that I wouldn't veer into another car to my left, and many, many times I heard and felt the car vibrating as I rolled over the drunk bumps.

Once I got off the highway I did not have this problem anymore. It was almost midnight so there were very few cars on the road, which meant  could just drive down the middle. Not only could I, but I had to, in fact, because there were such great puddles that I feared sinking the whole car.

But this led to another problem. It's another thing that only happened once, but it was scary: the first time while I was driving down the middle and I saw a car coming towards me in the distance, I pulled towards the right side of the road (for just a second).

Homework 
Do you have any funny stories of driving on the wrong (left) side of the road? Please comment.
OR
Do you think the UK/former UK colonies will ever switch to driving like the rest of the world? Why or why not? Please comment.